Reinvention Starts With Release
Everyone talks about reinvention like it’s a shiny upgrade: – New title.
– Fresh brand.
– Better version of you.
But here’s the truth: Reinvention isn’t about adding more.
It’s about letting go of what no longer fits.
This is the heart of Action + Acceptance in the POLARIS methodology.
Not just doing. Not just building. But becoming.
Before You Pivot, Ask: What’s Still Weighing Me Down?
When you’re preparing to reinvent—your life, your business, your leadership—you must first name what you’re still gripping:
The old job title that once gave you status
The brand you built that no longer reflects your values
The belief that your worth is tied to your productivity
The role you’ve been performing to earn love or safety
You can’t fly toward what’s next with your arms full of the past.
Release comes first
My Story: From Silicon Valley Operator to Soul-Led Coach
For 20 years, I climbed. I led. I launched. I proved.
Then one day, I heard the whisper: This version of success is no longer mine.
I didn’t yet know what was next—but I knew what was done:
Being the fixer
Playing the expert
Shrinking parts of myself to fit the room
And the hardest part? Letting go of the identity that got me here.
Reinvention wasn’t a pivot. It was a release. It was grieving a former self, and making space for a truer one
The Hidden Cost of Holding On
When you cling to outdated strategies, roles, or stories, they don’t just block your growth. They:
Drain your energy
Cloud your decision-making
Keep you attached to what people expect—not what you want
In a culture obsessed with productivity, release can feel like weakness. But in truth, it’s the most powerful act of leadership you can take.
The Warrior-Lover Ritual: Release with Grace
This is not a burnout-driven collapse.
This is an intentional ceremony of self.
Try this:
Name what you’re ready to let go of.
Write it down.
Light a candle.
Say goodbye with reverence, not regret.
Release is not rejection. It’s recognition.
A holy goodbye.
Thank you for getting me here. I release you so I can rise.
The Threshold of Reinvention
When you release, you reach the most potent place: the in-between.
It’s tender.
Scary.
Liberating.
This is where you listen more than you plan.
Where you un-become what was never really yours.
Where you allow something new to root.
You are not broken.
You are in the chrysalis.
And when you emerge—it won’t be louder or shinier.
It will be truer.
Try This:
📝 Journal Prompt:
What identity, belief, or habit am I ready to release?
💡 Reflection:
What do I fear will happen if I let this go?
What might actually be possible if I do?
Final Thought: Letting Go Is Not Weakness—It’s Wisdom
You don’t need to push harder or hustle smarter.
You need to listen.
To soften.
To honor the small voice that says: Not this. Not anymore.
That voice is your compass.
Follow it.
And know this: You are not starting from scratch—you’re starting from experience.
Reinvention doesn’t start with doing.
It starts with release.
Let go. Then rise.
What If Starting Over Isn’t Failure?
We’re told to avoid backtracking. To always be building. Scaling. Advancing.
But what if that narrative is a lie? What if the bravest thing you can do right now is stop—and begin again?
This isn’t failure. This is freedom.
This is the second movement of Action in the POLARIS methodology: not just taking bold steps, but accepting what’s real, even if it asks you to rewrite everything.
The Myth of Momentum
The corporate world feeds us momentum myths:
"Don’t lose your edge."
"Keep the upward trajectory."
"Starting over sets you back."
But here’s the quiet truth: Sometimes momentum is just misalignment in disguise.
If you’re racing toward a version of success that isn’t yours, then stopping is not quitting. It’s remembering.
Acceptance: The Courage to Let the Truth Land
Acceptance doesn’t mean passivity. It means opening your eyes to what is—not what you hoped, not what you planned, but what’s actually here.
And then choosing to act from that place.
Accepting that the dream job drained you.
Accepting that the marriage is no longer mutual.
Accepting that the path you built isn’t the one your soul wants to walk.
This isn’t collapse. This is clarity.
My Story: The Day I Chose to Start Again
I was at the peak of my career—20 years into a job that made sense on paper. But I felt hollow.
No single moment brought me clarity. It arrived in fragments:
The sigh I let out after every Meets/Zoom call.
The stomach ache I ignored when I said yes to things I didn’t want.
The longing at night amidst all-night insomnia for something less performative and more real.
So I did the unthinkable: I left with no severance packet. I became a beginner.
Not because I had a backup plan. But because I knew what was no longer true.
Starting over didn’t mean I failed. It meant I was finally free to tell the truth.
What If You’re Already at the Starting Line?
Here’s how to know you’re ready:
You fantasize about leaving—but shame stops you.
You keep telling yourself: "Just a little longer."
Your body is louder than your calendar.
You’re spending more energy pretending than producing.
If that’s you, you’re not lost. You’re on the brink.
You’re standing at the threshold of real change. And it begins with acceptance.
The Warrior’s Grace: Owning the Decision
Accepting your truth doesn’t require you to justify it to anyone.
It requires you to trust your inner sovereign. To honor the whispers. To say: I don’t need to explain why. I just know this is what’s next.
This is not recklessness. This is self-leadership.
And yes, people might not understand. That’s okay. You don’t owe them your certainty.
You owe yourself your peace.
Try This: The Inner Reckoning
📝 Journal Prompt:
What’s scarier: staying stuck—or starting over?
💡 Reflection Question:
If I accepted that it’s time to begin again, what new possibilities might open up?
Final Word: Starting Over Is a Power Move
You don’t need a five-step plan to begin. You need a reckoning with truth. You need courage to face the gap between what is and what you want.
And then you need one small, sacred step.
Acceptance is not the end of the story. It’s the door to a better one.
So take it.
Begin again. Boldly. Softly. Unapologetically.
You’ve Already Arrived (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It Yet)
You’ve been moving mountains.
Quietly. Consistently. Without applause.
And still, something inside whispers: You’re behind. You should be further by now.
Let’s rewrite that story—right here.
Because here’s the truth your soul already knows: You’ve already arrived. Not to the end, but to this sacred threshold. And that matters.
The Lie of “Not Yet”
In high-achieving circles, we’re taught to tie worth to outcomes. To metrics. To KPIs. To Performance reviews and GRAD assessments. And so, even after setting boundaries, walking away from old identities, or surviving seasons of chaos, we minimize our progress.
You’ve let go of what no longer fits—but because it didn’t come with a financial trophy, you dismissed it.
Sound familiar?
This is how burnout sneaks in. When the soul says, I’m doing the work—and the mind replies, It’s not enough.
But there’s another way. One where your inner sovereign meets your heart-first leader part, and together they say: This moment counts.
Why Arrival Isn’t a Finish Line
In the POLARIS methodology, the Action phase begins with acknowledgment.
Because aligned action isn’t about force. It’s about presence. It’s the warrior’s restraint and the lover’s trust—the knowing that not all progress is loud.
We live in a spiral, not a ladder. Life brings us back to familiar thresholds, not to punish us, but to deepen us.
I returned to Esalen this spring. Same cliffs. Same ocean. But not the same woman. Five years after my first CIYO retreat, I could feel what had shifted: more capacity, more softness, more truth.
The spiral means we revisit—but we do so with stronger roots.
How the Warrior Acknowledges Progress
She doesn’t wait for permission.
She doesn’t need fanfare.
She pauses. Places a hand on her heart. And says: I’ve come far. Aksizo! I am worthy. Even if no one sees it but me.
That’s not vanity. That’s sovereignty.
You don’t have to announce it on LinkedIn. But you do have to witness yourself.
Here are signs that you’ve already arrived:
You walked away from what no longer served you.
You let yourself rest without justifying it.
You named a hard truth and didn’t flinch.
You set a boundary with your family that destabilized that familiar peace but gave you emotional safety.
You stopped apologizing for your brilliance.
If any of those feel true—you’re further than you think.
What Happens When You Don’t Acknowledge Arrival
You over-effort. You keep chasing. You miss the alchemy of becoming.
Even worse—you bypass the wisdom of the moment. And without acknowledgment, the next action becomes misaligned.
Without acknowledgment, action becomes “too much” in the words of Terry Cole.
Let’s break the cycle.
A Ritual to Anchor You
Find a quiet space. Light a candle if you like. Place your feet on the floor.
Ask yourself:
Where was I six months ago? And where am I now—energetically, emotionally, spiritually?
Write it down. No editing. Let the truth speak.
Now, write this sentence in your journal: I’ve already arrived in ways that matter.
Repeat it until your body believes it.
Queen, You’ve Done Enough (For Now)
You don’t have to sprint into the next season. You don’t have to fix, prove, or push.
Instead, you can choose:
Acknowledgment over acceleration
Presence over performance
Truth over perfection
Let the warrior rest her sword. Let the lover soften the edges. Let the queen take her throne—not because she conquered, but because she remembered who she is.
Try This:
📝 Journal Prompt:
What part of me already knows I’ve made meaningful progress?
💡 Reflection Question:
What’s one way I can honor that truth this week?
Want more support?
Download the POLARIS guide or subscribe to the newsletter for coaching tools, leadership insights, and inspiration to live and lead from your deepest alignment.
You’ve arrived. And it’s just the beginning.
The Bold Decision That Changed Everything: Why Aligned Action Starts with Telling the Truth
There’s a moment—sometimes quiet, sometimes explosive—when everything shifts.
It’s the moment you stop doing what’s expected and start listening to what’s true.
For me, that moment came when I left a two-decade career at Google to build something of my own. I didn’t have all the answers. But I had a knowing: this life no longer fits.
That bold decision didn’t bring instant clarity. It brought something more valuable: space. And in that space, clarity arrived—bit by bit.
Leaving a known path is rarely a tidy exit. It’s messy, emotional, often private. But it’s also profoundly powerful. Because once you acknowledge what’s no longer true, you can begin again from a place of alignment.
A Is for Action (But Not the Hustle Kind)
In the POLARIS methodology I created, A stands for Action—but not the kind that burns you out. This is action that begins with acknowledgment.
You don’t need a perfect plan to begin. You need honesty.
Aligned action isn’t about performance. It’s about truth-telling. It’s what happens when you finally say:
This isn’t working anymore.
I’m outgrowing this title/role/identity.
I want something different—and I’m willing to face the unknown.
The Spiral of Change (Why We Circle Back Before We Move Forward)
Real transformation doesn’t follow a quarterly timeline. It’s not Month 1 to Month 4 with neat check-ins.
It's a spiral. A nautilus. A return.
This past April, I returned to Esalen with my sister for The Braided Way and revisited the Coming Into Your Own (CIYO) retreat I first attended in 2019. Five+ years later, I stood at the same threshold—but I wasn’t the same leader.
Growth loops us back to familiar places so we can meet them with more clarity, more capacity, more wholeness.
This is why I built the POLARIS methodology as a spiral, not a ladder. In your journey, you may need to Pause again. Let Go again. Recognize again. That’s not regression—it’s deepening.
If you feel like you’re circling back, you’re not behind. You’re becoming.
The Cost of Staying Quiet
Let’s name something real: high-achieving environments reward silence and performance. We’re praised for pushing through, staying loyal, showing up.
But what’s the cost of ignoring your own knowing?
For me, the cost was chronic stress, a flattened sense of purpose, and a growing feeling that I was living someone else’s dream.
Acknowledgment is the first step to reclaiming your life.
And here’s the truth: Most people wait too long to tell the truth.
Why?
Fear of judgment
Fear of losing status
Fear of what happens after you say it out loud
But the longer you wait, the heavier the truth becomes. Action doesn’t mean rushing—it means responding to what’s real.
The Inner Compass: How to Know When You’re Ready
You may not feel ready. But here are some signs that acknowledgment wants to surface:
You feel drained, even after rest
The voice in your head is getting louder: “This isn’t it.”
You’re succeeding on paper but shrinking on the inside
You fantasize about leaving but don’t tell anyone
These are not signs of weakness. These are signs of wisdom.
Your inner compass is working.
You Don’t Have to Burn It All Down
One of the biggest myths about action is that it has to be dramatic: quit your job, move to Bali, start a new life.
But most aligned action is small, quiet, and brave.
It’s the email you finally write.
The boundary you set with love.
The hour you block each week for your next chapter.
The name you whisper into the void: coach, therapist, friend.
Aligned action starts with a whisper: This no longer fits.
And then a question: What might fit better?
A Journal Prompt to Begin
If you're feeling the pull toward something different—but don’t know where to start—try this:
Prompt:
What bold decision have I made—or need to make—that might change everything?
What would happen if I stopped waiting and started trusting?
Write freely. No editing. Let the knowing speak.
Final Thought: You Already Know
You don’t need to read another self-help book to begin. You don’t need a coach to validate your longing (though I’d be honored to help).
You just need to listen to what’s already true—and act on it, even gently.
Because sometimes, the boldest decision isn’t leaving.
It’s acknowledging that you’re ready.
Want more support?
Download the full POLARIS guide or subscribe to the newsletter for monthly coaching tools, leadership insights, and inspiration to navigate what’s next—with clarity and courage.
Holding the Contradictions in Business, Branding & Leadership
March is Women’s History Month—a time to honor the resilience, power, and intuition that have shaped history. But resilience isn’t just about pushing forward—it’s about learning how to hold discomfort without losing yourself in it.
For years, I believed my job as a leader and a coach was to help people suffer less. If I couldn’t remove their struggles, I would take them on myself. But suffering isn’t meant to be erased—it’s meant to be understood, integrated, and transformed.
The same goes for identity shifts in business, branding, and leadership.
In our careers, we’re taught to measure success by external markers: titles, revenue, prestige, LinkedIn updates. But what happens when the role shifts? When the business evolves? Who are you when the external labels fall away?
This is where POLARIS comes in.
Pain as a Teacher: What Branding & Leadership Have in Common
One and a half years ago, just after I quit my executive role at Google, I jumped into the Mediterranean—and broke my heel. (Apparently, I took “break a leg” a little too literally.)
The pain still lingers. Some days, it’s a whisper; other days, a scream.
It’s the same with business and leadership transitions. Whether you’re pivoting careers, evolving your business, or redefining your leadership, the process is rarely pain-free. Change shakes your sense of control. It forces you to see who you are beyond the labels.
For years, I tied my success to external validation. I thrived in rooms where my expertise was recognized. I equated my worth with my ability to deliver, perform, and exceed expectations.
But what happens when the game changes?
Many high achievers unknowingly tie their self-worth to their job title.
🔹 The fear of losing a job isn’t always about money—it’s about losing the identity we’ve built around it.
🔹 The anxiety of pivoting careers isn’t just about skill gaps—it’s about wondering, Who am I if I’m not this?
🔹 The reluctance to rebrand isn’t about logos or messaging—it’s about grappling with, What do I stand for now?
But what if your next transition isn’t a loss—but an invitation?
An invitation to rediscover who you’ve been all along.
What I Learned from Pausing
A couple of weeks ago, I went to Blue Spirit in Nosara, Costa Rica, I finally attended a trauma-informed training with Dr. Dick Schwartz (the founder of Internal Family Systems). I had waited five years for this moment.
In a room full of warm hearts and broken healers, I was reminded:
Transformation doesn’t come from fixing—it comes from feeling.
We rush to “fix” things in business—pivot, rebrand, make the pain disappear. But true alignment comes from understanding before action.
So, let me ask you:
🔹 Who are you beyond your job title?
🔹 What parts of you remain constant, even in uncertainty?
🔹 How do you lead yourself—before leading others?
This is the foundation of resilient, intuitive leadership.
POLARIS: The Fireforged Path to Reinvention
Each month, we explore the P-O-L-A-R-I-S framework—a roadmap for professionals navigating high-stakes transitions. If you’re feeling stuck or on the brink of something bigger, this is your compass back to clarity.
This month, we begin where all true transformation starts: PAUSE—facing the career truths you might be avoiding.
Pause – The Hardest Truth You Already Know
Are you in the middle of a high-stakes, high-complexity career transition? If so, you’re in what I call a Fireforged moment—a phase where the challenge isn’t just about making a career move, but about doing so sustainably, without burning yourself out in the process.
Here’s the paradox: When everything feels uncertain, our instinct is to push harder, seek more advice, and sprint toward an answer. But clarity doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from creating space to see the truth that’s already there.
The Hardest Truth to Face? The One You Already Know.
You’re not lost because you don’t have answers. You’re lost because you haven’t stopped long enough to ask the right questions.
Most professionals in transition get stuck in analysis paralysis: Should I stay or go? Is this the right time? What if I make the wrong move? But those are the surface questions. The real ones live deeper:
🔥 Where am I forcing myself to fit into a career identity that no longer serves me?
🔥 If I let go of external validation, what do I truly want?
🔥 What version of myself am I afraid to become?
What I Learned from the California Women’s Conference
In February, I had the privilege of coaching at the California Women’s Conference, alongside some of the most dynamic changemakers—Simone Biles, Jane Fonda, and Padma Lakshmi among them.
And here’s what struck me: At the core of every conversation, success wasn’t the goal—it was simply a byproduct.
The real conversation? Reinvention. Radical clarity. The courage to carve a new way forward, even in fear.
One theme kept emerging: The power of self-trust in uncertainty.
Whether stepping into a bigger leadership role, pivoting industries, or redefining fulfillment, the next breakthrough never came from someone else’s roadmap. It came from learning to trust their own instincts, even when the path felt uncharted.
Here’s the truth: The world doesn’t need another version of someone else. It needs your boldest, most unapologetic ideas—the ones you’ve been keeping in the wings.
Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail (And What to Do Instead)
Well, hey there!
Let’s be real—It’s almost end of Q1 so you’ve probably figured by now that your New Year’s resolutions might be a tad bit overrated.
How many times have you promised yourself that this is the year you finally get your life together, only to find yourself slipping back into old habits by March? Maybe you’re like me and you started strong in January, with color-coded fancy planners and ambitious goals, only to end up dodging your to-do list a few weeks later.
But here’s the thing: you’re not failing—your approach is.
Traditional resolutions rely on sheer willpower. They demand rigid discipline, perfectionism and often ignore the deeper "why" behind what we truly want. The problem? Willpower is a limited resource. And when life inevitably throws a curveball, resolutions crumble.
The Real Reason Resolutions Don’t Work
Most resolutions fail because they are:
✅ Outcome-focused instead of identity-driven. We set a goal (“I’ll get promoted this year”) but don’t address the habits and mindset shifts that create that success.
✅ Built on external expectations. Are you chasing a goal because it excites you—or because you think you should?
✅ Overly rigid. Life happens. A goal that doesn’t evolve with you will break under pressure.
So instead of setting another doomed-to-fail resolution, let’s do something smarter.
Leading with Purpose: Your 2025 Roadmap to Career Clarity
You’re ambitious. You’ve checked all the boxes—degrees, promotions, achievements. But… something still feels off.
Maybe you’re feeling uninspired in your work, restless in your career, or questioning whether you’re climbing the right ladder.
If that’s you, here’s the shift: The next level of success isn’t about climbing higher—it’s about going deeper into what actually matters to you.
How Clarity Fuels Momentum (Even If You Feel Lost Right Now)
When you don’t have clarity, you default to autopilot—saying yes to things that drain you, following paths that don’t excite you, and feeling stuck in cycles of frustration. Clarity isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about aligning your energy with what truly fuels you.
If you’re feeling lost, start by asking yourself these three unconventional questions:
1. What’s a future you’re scared to admit you want?
Forget what’s practical for a second. If success was guaranteed, what would you really want? What career pivot, creative project, or leadership move is quietly calling your name?
2. Where are you forcing yourself to be someone you’re not?
Are you spending energy trying to fit into a version of success that doesn’t feel like you? What if you let go of that and pursued what actually aligns with your strengths and values?
3. What’s the boldest truth you’ve been avoiding?
Maybe it’s that you don’t want the promotion. Or that your dream job is actually outside your current industry. Or that the career identity you’ve built no longer fits.
Facing these truths takes courage—but they hold the key to your next step.
Create a Vision Statement That’s Bold, Rebellious, and Unapologetically You
Instead of rigid resolutions, create an annual theme—a guiding principle that fuels your decisions and actions throughout the year.
Some examples:
🔥 The Year of Expansion: Saying yes to bolder opportunities.
🔥 The Year of Alignment: Only pursuing what feels right.
🔥 The Year of Leadership: Owning your voice and stepping up.
This isn’t about hustling harder—it’s about building a career and life that lights you up.
So here’s your challenge: Ditch the resolutions. Define a vision. And make 2025 the year you lead on your own terms.